The whelp helps? Really?
Just as I was driving home from dinner last night, I tuned it to the Lite FM and the radio was playing some excerpts from The Lite Breakfast with Steve and Shaz. Well, pardon me, since I’ve reached XX number of age, I realized that Lite’s Breakfast Show was the only radio that I could stand listening to while driving to work every morning.
Laughing? Yes, wait until you reach my age, haha!
|My morning tonic now that I’m XX years old (Source: litefm.com.my)|
Except yesterday because I left home a little later than usual. Anyway, I thought it was funny that they were talking about ‘finding partner the way you choose dogs’, so as soon as I reached home, I quickly Googled for the related article and came across this report on www.dailymail.co.uk written by Deni Kirkova dated January 18th, 2015 titled ‘Want to find The One? Choose your partner the same way you choose your DOG! Relationship expert’s radical new approach to finding love’.
Author and relationship coach, Dr. Annie Kaszina Ph.D suggested there are parallels between picking the perfect partner and the way you choose your dog. Based on her experience when she met Orlandino with the big brown eyes, the irresistible looks, the knack he had of making her laugh; she thought it was love at first. Apparently, Orlandino was the dog from hell. So, when she chose her second dog – and her current partner – with a lot more care, and shared with hundreds of women simple ways to spot the right man for them; using her pet as the template.
|Dr. Annie Kaszina Ph.D. and her radical ideas
about relationship (Source: www.dailymail.co.uk)
So, the article also shares 10 tips inspired by Dr. Annie Kaszina’s new book ‘Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?’ which will be out by Valentine’s Day (perhaps a little later for the Malaysian market).
|The key is to find a man who parallels with a sweet, natured dog (Source: Internet)|
1. Temperament is King
Look for someone sunny and sweet-natured. As much as the mean, moody and magnificent sounds exciting, it’s actually hard work in a relationship.
2. Check the pedigree
Listen to the way the guy speaks of his parents, family and friends. Might give you a heads-up either he is good with people or not.
3. Beware yappiness
Be careful with those who talk so highly about themselves. Haha, oh, yeah, this I definitely know! ‘Hey, I’m Mr. Great’, ‘I’m Mr. Awesome’, ‘I’m off to a gym’, ‘I’m going to make cover of the magazine’, bla bla bla. Men should take interest in you too, which I totally agree!
4. Good manners
The article wrote, good manners don’t just stop at the table manners. Some men have selective good manners, so chances are they are not GENUINE people. They might want to impress you at first until you fall into their arms, and then, wooosh! Out come their true colours! Trust me, not all true colours are as pleasant as Cyndi Lauper’s famous song,
But I see your true colours shining through
I see your true colours and that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colours, true colours are beautiful
Like a rainbow
(Song: Cyndi Lauper’s True Colours)
When a man shows signs of being pushy, well, stop. It means he doesn’t respect boundaries. Yes, in my case, one guy told me to lose weight quickly so he could take me to a social event. *burn*
|For someone to have and to hold till death do us part (Source: Internet)|
6. Good behaviour
If you have standards on how to dress and behave on your first date, he should too. Violations of good behaviour, even as unnoticeable as leering at other women, well, take that as a sign. Once, I went out with a guy who couldn’t stop taking photos with celebrities, especially female; models, socialites and beauty queens. Call it a habit, I guess. It ended nowhere, I swear!
Your date ought to be sensitive and responsive to your wishes. If a guy keeps making decisions for you, well, how long do you think before he makes BIG DECISIONS for/without you? Don’t settle to become ‘Miss I-Do’, or sooner or later, you’ll lose your own personality.
Yes, you want to have fun, but at the same time, he has to be someone fun to be around. Don’t confuse fun with childish, by the way. You might end up playing mother figure all the way. MILFs are just good to watch, but to date, that’s a bit tricky, haha.
|Understand what you want from your dog and
perhaps later your man (Source: Internet)
9. Beware rogue breeders
Yes, you’ve been a while and yes, your friends might want to set you up with ‘lovely dates’. Just be careful, we all have different tastes in everything. Your friends might like the guy, but you may not. Do your own homework, many a times, your instinct helps.
10. Leave the paperwork at home
Aaah, women are known to be completely romantic. Most of the time, we imagine things way up ahead. Immediately after the first date, we’re already flipping through bridal magazines for ideas. Haha, honestly, I’ve had that too when I met that beautiful doctor. Although our planned rendezvous was postponed and eventually cancelled, I actually had a big dream which included a wedding gown with 10 metre-train and a tiara! I blame his beautiful smile for that!
Take a first date as a pilot of a TV series, and always remember, not all TV pilots are picked up by networks, haha! Some might be, but the cast has changed!
|The goal is to find your perfect match in a relationship (Source: Internet)|
So, how do you choose your future partner now?
Here’s the full article for you:
*Note: According to www.merriam-webster.com, the word ‘whelp‘ means:
1. Any of the young of various carnivorous mammals and especially of the dog
2. A young boy or girl
Origin of WHELP
Middle English, from Old English hwelp; akin to Old High German hwelf whelp
First Known Use: before 12th century
Reading this article really made me laugh realizing how true the points are. Okay, being a Muslim, of course, I never had a dog (don’t go to that ‘I Want to Touch Dogs’ thing with me here!). As a child (even until now), given the chance, I’d love to have a dog as a pet too.
|It’s like going shopping!!! (Source: Internet)|
So, let’s see which dog best describe my potential partner, shall we?
1. Chow Chow
This dog is known as one of the oldest dog breeds in the world, originated from northern China and was referred as songshi quan which translates into ‘puffy-lion dog‘. Look at that fur! That fur!
|A unique trait of the Chow Chow is its blue-black tongue (Source: Internet)|
And here’s my future partner…
|Jay Chou? Yes, yes, yes! (Source: Internet)|
Haha, sorry, peeps, I couldn’t bear to put Chow Yuen Fatt or Stephen Chow as my future partner, so, Jay Chou sounds pretty much the same.
2. Golden Retriever
Oh, this is undeniably one of the world’s favourite dogs! This breed earned its name for the long golden (may vary depending on the breed) and its ability to retrieve items during shot game undamaged. Golden Retrievers are water-loving, fun animals and playful too. Due to its sweet nature and intelligence, they’re often trained to be guides for the blind.
|How could you not love this little puppy? (Source: Internet)|
So, how do I envision my Golden Boy? Well, the American type! Haha!
|Aaah, Nick Carter, my first blue-eyed blond crush! (Source: Internet)|
3. Australian Shepherd
Commonly known as Aussie, but surprisingly, this medium-sized breed was developed in the USA. Aussies are loved by many for its agility, playfulness and trainable nature. Generally, an Aussie’s life span is between 12 to 18 years but prone to have vision problems as they age. In a merle to merle breeding, some puppies have an increased risk of being born blind or deaf, but that shouldn’t be a reason to love your Aussie any less.
And I shalt not love thee any less, my beautiful Aussie! Claws, I means, flaws or not!
|Hugh Jackman, the ultimate Australian hunk! (Source: Internet)|
4. German Shepherd
What is up with me with shepherd breed? But you have to admit, as scary as this large-sized breed is, it does look very heroic in police drama. The German Shepherd is also known as Deutscher Schaeferhund (in German-speaking countries) or Alsatian (in some English-speaking countries). Although originally bred for sheep herding, this dog is also trained for various works mainly in the police-related and military industry as it is known to be very strong, intelligent, obedient and highly trainable.
The most famous German Shepherd is Rin-Tin-Tin! Yes, I remember reading about him as a child.
|Honestly, when I see one like this, I feel like
running at the speed of light! (Source: Internet)
Und wer ist mein Deutscher Freund? (And who is my German boyfriend?)
|I swear, Michael Fassbender, I don’t have drugs on me!
You can sniff me just to be sure! (Source: Internet)
5. Pit Bull
Yes, Malaysians were in a massive shock when a pit bull breed attacked an elderly man to his death not too long ago. Should you be surprised, since this breed was originally created as fighting dogs by cross breeding bulldogs, mastiffs and terriers to produce champions. Since blood sports have long been banned, this dog is later bred for working and commercial purposes.
|Like all other dogs, a Pit Bull requires solid
socialization training as a puppy to reduce
the potential aggressive genes (Source: Internet)
So, do I want a Pit Bull by my side? Heck, why not?
|¡Ay, caramba! It’s Pitbull! (Source: Internet)|
6. British Bulldog
The bulldogs are originated from, well, Britain, hence the name. It is among the top most popular purebreed (and not of vampire or lycans, mind you!) under the canis lupus familiaris category. The canis what? Oh, canis lupus familiaris is the Latin term for dog, haha! Yes, there are other breeds of bulldog including the American and French ones, but the medium-sized dog is definitely of a British origin.
And no, this dog is not a cross breed of a canis lupus familiaris and a Boss taurus (that’s a bull, not Hugo Boss’s pet!). It earned its name because of its use in bull baiting sports. Please don’t ask me what’s bull baiting, it was too inhumane, I’d rather not write about it in this confession. Feel free to Google.
By the way, although bulldogs are commonly associated to the Brits especially Sir Winston Churchill, did you know, 39 American universities (as of January 2015) use bulldogs as their mascot? Do you know another famous bulldog mascot?
|It’s medium-sized but rather heavy because of the muscles
and known for its wrinkly face and push-in nose (Source: Internet)
So, who is my ultimate British bloke?
|I should be so Loki, I mean, lucky if I get someone
like Tom Hiddleston! (Source: Internet)
7. Bearded Collie
Although the common nickname for Bearded Collie is Beardie; I think most Malaysians are more familiar with the name Shaggy Dog after the 2006 movie ‘The Shaggy Dog’ starring Tim Allen. Like its Shepherd furry-buddies, the Bearded Collies were primarily bred for herding by Scottish shepherds.
You’d be impressed as I am when reading about the historical origins of the Bearded Collie. One source claimed that the Bearded Collie was a cross breed between Polish Lowland Sheepdog (Polski Owczarek Nizinny) and local Scottish dogs. Another source spoke of several dog owners who began breeding their dogs the old fashion way.
|The Bearded Collie needs regular grooming for
a fur-free home (Source: Internet)
So, who’s the Scottish Beardie that I have in mind?
|The Ugly Truth is, Gerard Butler, my love,
P/S- I love you with that sexy beard! (Source: Internet)
8. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Yes, this dog has a name longer than its common Latin term, haha, but this breed is one of the favourite companion dogs among the ‘toy’ category. The breed standards recognize four colours for the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel; Blenheim (after the Blenheim Palace) which is striking chestnut and iridescent white colour, black and tan, tricolour (black, tan and white) and Ruby (fully covered in rich chestnut fur).
This breed is a direct descendent of Toy Spaniels represented in paintings from the 16th, 17th and 18th Century. In fact, this warm and snuggly breed was a top favourite among the ladies at court during the Tudor times.
|So, which of these puppies you’d choose? (Source: Internet)|
So, which of the Tudor boys you’d like to bring home?
|Well, I don’t mind these two Tudor arm candies;
Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Henry Cavill! (Source: Internet)
Yes, surely some of you wonder, am I ever writing about poodles? Of course, I am, I’m doing it right now. When most people might remember the Miniature Poodle, well, there are two other sizes; the Standard Poodle and a Toy Poodle. Known for its long, curly fur; a poodle requires many hours for grooming on a weekly basis.
This famous show-dog needs to be clipped to lower maintenance and for hygiene purposes. Surprisingly, there are many types of clips; standard clip, Continental clip, English saddle clip and a few more. If you ask me, Poodles are boring!
|Having one of these require patience, imagine having three (Source: Internet)|
Glad he’s decided to get rid of the Poodle look!
|Bye-bye, Poodle hair; Justin Timberlake is a major hottie now! (Source: Internet)|
10. Siberian Husky
Aaaah, finally, another favourite of mine, the Siberian Husky or Sibirsky Haski (сибирский хаски) in Russian. As the name suggests it, this breed was originated from Siberia, Russia. And among my friends, I’ve been called the Russian Spy, Agent Lyubov’ S. Klubnichkina (some preferred Petrova) since I started working closely with the Embassy of the Russian Federation in Malaysia. So, anything that says Russia, people tend to look my way, and honestly, I’m proud of it!
Anyway, this magnificent dog breed is known for its double-coat fur, erect triangular ears and distinctive markings. Think Siberian Huskies, you’ll remember the legendary Balto and or that devilish Demon (from Snow Dogs movie).
|Oh, the grey eyes! I will call this one Alyosha (Source: Internet)|
So, how would my Russian partner look like?
|Ansel Elgort (Russian descent) might be
too young for me, haha! (Source: Internet)
|With you, I can never be a Lone Ranger,
Armie Hammer (Russian descent)! (Source: Internet)
|You can drink my blood any time, Danila Kozlovsky! (Source: Internet)|
Hahahaha! Yes, they’re all very pretty, but at one point in life, I’ve set my eyes and heart on another Siberian Husky, I mean, Russian guy. My verdict, the hardest dog to tame, haha! Always in my heart, always in my mind…
|That’s my Iskandar Zulkarnain …|
*Note: Info and details of dogs are mostly referred from Wikipedia, thank you!
Haha, if only finding a partner is THAT easy, I just might go through a catalogue, or visit a place full of men and pick one, like one might do when picking a dog at the pet store. Still, the article has some great advice too. In the end, let’s just get to know our potential partner and see if things work out.
Anyway, this confession is written for fun with lots of love, no pun intended! For my True Love, I’ll see you soon, wherever you may be, hopefully not at a pet store since I’m allergic to animal fur, haha! So enjoy, Baha Men’s Who Let The Dogs Out!
*P/S – jangan cakap nak samak blog aku plak! Cakap pakai kepala otak, bukan kepala lutut! Kalau tidak, lutut ke mukamu jawabnya!
See you in the next confession!
All my love, XOXO,