My Romance with Pies

Oh, my sweet tooth! (Source: Internet)
Oh, my sweet tooth!
(Source: Internet)

I have possibly the worst sweet tooth issue among my family, friends and colleagues. I can just pop everything sweet, sinful and delicious into my mouth guilt-free. The guilt only starts to seep through much, much later when I stand naked in front of the mirror and see folds of skin holding on to the fat I myself brought upon.

One of those sweet delights I love is pie! Be it sweet, fruity pie or something savoury with lots of meat and vegetables inside, I just love pies! Even the ones from McDonald’s are just irresistibly tasty! The new Spinach Pie is awesome too! I hope, they’re gonna be around for a while.

strawberry pie
What wouldn’t I do for a piece of this right now? (Source: Internet)

Pies are just heavenly so I understand the kind of comfort they bring at each mouthful bite. You see, Malaysians are not so high on pies like they are with cookies and cake. That’s why you see many people taking baking classes specializing in cookies, cakes and more recently, macaroons.

When I was on the exchange programme in Germany is 2002/2003, I lived with a family of bakers, the Fesenbeck. My host dad, Horst whom I called ‘Papa’ was possibly the best baker in all of Saarland, the smallest federal state in Germany, but my fondest, most beautiful memories were made there.

My host mum, Mama Karin Fesenbeck was the most loving stranger I’ve ever met. Although we were not at all related, by hosting me, she has proven that you can love almost as much as you would to your own blood.

My home for almost a year, Schmelz (Source: Internet)
My home for almost a year, Schmelz
(Source: Internet)

 

They loved baking pies for the community there. In fact, many people loved their bread too! I learned to eat funny German bread like the Schwarzbrot and many other brot (bread), which were as hard as rock but once you get used to them, you’ll love them more than your usual Gardenia or High Five.

After a year in Germany, I lost close to 30 kg eating this every day! (Source: Internet)
After a year in Germany, I lost close to 30 kg eating this every day!
(Source: Internet)

Every Friday the Fesenbecks would organize a high tea and invite their close friends and neighbours where they would enjoy food, usually pie and coffee. I’d help out with serving food and doing the dishes in the kitchen.

It was fun because I learned German faster that way. Located so close to France, just about 70 km if my mind serves me correctly (too lazy to Google), people are more motivated to learn French.

One day, Mama Karin gave me a slice of rhubarb pie. It was my first because I never knew how rhubarb looked like, even. It was sweet and delicious and I believe, I have fallen in love right that moment.

My first rhubarb pie romance was in the Fesenbeck kitchen in Schmelz, Saarlouis in Saarland, Germany in 2002.  (Source: Internet)
My first rhubarb pie romance was in the Fesenbeck kitchen in Schmelz, Saarlouis in Saarland, Germany in 2002.
(Source: Internet)

My host family, the Fesenbecks are very good bakers. They would wake up very early in the morning and start baking. I packed freshly baked pastries and bread to school every day. To me, it was a luxury because everything was right downstairs where I used to live, The Fesenbeck House, Robert-Koch-Strasse 39, 66839, Schmelz, Germany.

I spent the entire summer helping them to bake pies and bread. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten most of the recipes. I don’t think I can find the exact same ingredients in Malaysia, but I’m thinking of learning to bake pies now.

The peach pie looks great and the crust looks very crispy! (Source: Internet)
The peach pie looks great and the crust looks very crispy!
(Source: Internet)

I believe, every dessert has its own strength in bringing comfort and pleasure to anyone who consumes it. Some people like cookies because of the crunchy bites and even better, when the cookies have tonnes of chocolate chips on them! Some prefer cake because it glides smoothly in the mouth and it comes with all sorts of flavours, topping and finishing. And yes, macaroons are crispy on the outside but very soft on the inside, they’re made in small size that you can continuously pop into your mouth at will.

Pie is different. ‘Pie is home, people always come home’. That was taken from Pushing Daisies, one of the best TV series ever produced. Ned, the Pie Maker bakes pie using rotten fruits because he can bring back the dead with one touch. Second touch, die again, forever, as the narrator repeatedly says.

Pushing Daisies, a fantasy forensic romance. (Source: Internet)
Pushing Daisies was my ultimate favourite TV show! I’d anxiously wait every week for this!
(Source: Internet)

Ned bakes pies, a trade he learned from his mother. He started baking pie in school whenever he missed his mother and ended up opening the Pie Hole diner.

Well, the TV series is about Ned helping Private Investigator Emerson Cod to solve murders happening around town with his magical touch. Ned also brought his childhood sweetheart, Chuck back to life but could never touch her again at the risk of causing her death, permanently this time.

One of the only ways Ned and Chuck could kiss throughout the series. (Source: Internet)
One of the only ways Ned and Chuck could kiss throughout the series, with plastic wrap.
(Source: Internet)

Then, there’s a movie ‘The Waitress’ starring Kerri Russell and Nathan Fillion, about a small town married waitress, Jenna who is pregnant with her abusive husband’s child. She works at a pie diner and bakes pies on a daily basis. She also bakes pie that reflects her mood like ‘I Hate My Husband’ pie, to which her friend, Dawn (Adrienne Shelly who also wrote and directed the movie) responded by saying, “You can’t put that on the menu”.

This movie is so sweet, I've watched it a few times already! (Source: Internet)
This movie is so sweet, I’ve watched it a few times already!
(Source: Internet)

 

She seeks solace in baking pies and yes, having an affair with her physician, Dr. Pomatter who is also married.

I just love this quote in the movie, when Dr. Pomatter came to her house after her first attempt to end their affair. He held her in his arms and she wrote about the feeling in her baby journal.

Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold you tight, without an ounce of selfishness to it

pie waitress scene
Jenna is teaching her physician how to make Lonely Chicago Pie (Source: Internet)

So, these two shows tell me that pie is love. In Pushing Daisies, Ned bakes pies. Emerson Cod always orders pies. Chuck adds Gruyere cheese on the crust. Olive Snook helps to deliver pies to Chuck’s aunts.

While in The Waitress, baking pies are a way for Jenna to express herself. There are about 18 different pies featured or mentioned throughout the movie. ‘Falling In Love Chocolate Mousse Pie’ and ‘Strawberry Chocolate Oasis Pie’ sound wonderful, right?

Anything with chocolate and strawberry can never go wrong! (Source: Internet)
Anything with chocolate and strawberry can never go wrong!
(Source: Internet)

So, what would my pie be?

How about ‘The Miss Paris Diaries Pie’? Considering the things that are happening in my life, it will be a mixture of everything sweet, sour and spicy with a big dollop of whipped cream on top!

Just the way I love it!

#TheMissParisDiaries

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Top 10 Songs My Gay Friends Love At The Karaoke

I am not a Disco Diva or anything of the sort, but when I find the time and the ‘kaki’ – This is a Malaysian term for buddies, actually it literally translates as ‘foot’ – I will be hogging the microphone at the karaoke like it’s nobody’s business.

karaoke 1
My singing is best compared to Cameron Diaz’s Kim in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ (Source: Internet)

Of course, when you talk about karaoke, the best gang to the karaoke are definitely your gay friends. They are a wonder to ‘lepak’ (hang out) with. I’m not promoting LGBT on my blog, if that’s what you’re thinking, I’m merely sharing fun moments I had with them.

Just like many of us, we each have our own signature song set. In my case, friends know me as an avid fan of *gasp* old traditional Malay songs and at some point, oldies from the 60s. I also love ‘dangdut’ songs where I can twerk like an idiot among men who will never had any sexual desires towards me, haha!

My gay friends however share a common passion for some songs. Although they are not from the same cycle of friends, but they’d sing their heart out to these songs. Are you ready?

Top 10 Sings My Gay Friends Sing at The Karaoke

Beyonce – Listen

There’s something about this song that will instantly drive my gay friends MAD! They’ll start strutting and bending and dancing and writhing! Haha!

Ziana Zain – Anggapanmu, Madah Berhelah and other songs

Particularly ‘Anggapanmu’ and ‘Madah Berhelah’,¬†many of my gay friends love Malaysia’s Whitney Houston particularly her older songs from one of her live concerts.

Katy Perry – Peacock, Last Friday Night and others

When this song was first released, my gay friends were more than eager to perform LIVE specially for me. At first, I didn’t get the whole song, but I later realized that it was the perfect song for my daily wake-up call, haha!

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock… your peacock, cock!

Sadly, this song is no longer searchable at most karaoke places!

Anuar Zain- Sedetik Lebih, Keabadian Cinta and others

Well, it’s not a surprise why gay men love his songs! Haha! I love ‘Sedetik Lebih‘ just as much as they love him! Haha! This is one of his best songs ever, from the official soundtrack of ‘Merong Mahawangsa‘. In case you don’t know, he is the younger brother of Ziana Zain!

Britney Spears – Toxic and other songs

How could any gay boy NOT want to sing a Britney? He must be mad, or perhaps he’s from #TeamChristinaAguilera, yes, if you still remember their old feud between the two pop princesses back in the days when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth.

Toxic is easily the top pick. If you ask me, I’ll go for I’m A Slave 4 U! Woooot wooot!

Alyah – Sesal Separuh Nyawa and other songs

Alyah has recorded many great songs that will continuously be played on the radio and subsequently sung at the karaoke too. We love her sultry and powerful vocal. A couple of years ago, we all sang to Kisah Hati, so this year, we sing Sesal Separuh Nyawa, which was rumoured to be based on real life story. Whose? Well, I don’t know!

Dayang Nurfaizah – Di Pintu Syurga and other songs

Yes, this song was a chart topper back in ‘Ariana Rose’ TV series days. It catapulted Keith Foo’s name to stardom, as well as his leading lady, Fathia Latiff, who looks a lot like my friend, Nik Sara Sofia from Kelantan. Dayang Nurfaizah is also known as Malaysian Beyonce for her R & B Take a listen to this song and you’ll understand why people love it and gay men sing it.

Pussycat Dolls – Sway and other songs

Most of the time, they don’t even know what they’re singing, but they choose this song for the fun of moving, shaking and swaying within that small room we call karaoke paradiso. Another PCD’s song that deserves to be on the list would be Buttons featuring Snoop Dog. Hush Hush ain’t too bad either!

Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza – Bicara Manis Menghiris Kalbu, Kesilapanku Keegoanku and others

Malaysia’s No 1 singer is undeniably an icon among my gay friends. They will sing her songs at karaoke. Oh, and this is another indicator that your supposedly macho, straight friend might be gay after all. Don’t believe me? Well, check their iPod!

Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor – Marvin Gaye

Oh, this is the absolute winner! This is one of my go-to songs at the moment. I could drive around in heavy traffic and sing this song non-stop to ease my boredom. And the video clip is just so … ahem… sexual, but in a cute way. I mean, those orgy scenes are just too high school, isn’t it? Haha!

Honestly, every time I hear this song, I can only think of one person and how I wish I could turn back time and tell him, “Baby, let’s Marvin Gaye it and get it on!”

Truth be told, I miss going to the karaoke with my girlfriends too. Most of them are married, some have moved out of Kuala Lumpur. But my distorted memory of singing our girly hearts out is something like this…

Sex and the City 2 karaoke scene
Haha, naaaah, we’re never dressed up like this at the karaoke!¬† (Source: Internet)

So, when is our next karaoke session?

#TheMissParisDiaries

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