I am not a Disco Diva or anything of the sort, but when I find the time and the ‘kaki’ – This is a Malaysian term for buddies, actually it literally translates as ‘foot’ – I will be hogging the microphone at the karaoke like it’s nobody’s business.
Of course, when you talk about karaoke, the best gang to the karaoke are definitely your gay friends. They are a wonder to ‘lepak’ (hang out) with. I’m not promoting LGBT on my blog, if that’s what you’re thinking, I’m merely sharing fun moments I had with them.
Just like many of us, we each have our own signature song set. In my case, friends know me as an avid fan of *gasp* old traditional Malay songs and at some point, oldies from the 60s. I also love ‘dangdut’ songs where I can twerk like an idiot among men who will never had any sexual desires towards me, haha!
My gay friends however share a common passion for some songs. Although they are not from the same cycle of friends, but they’d sing their heart out to these songs. Are you ready?
Top 10 Sings My Gay Friends Sing at The Karaoke
Beyonce – Listen
There’s something about this song that will instantly drive my gay friends MAD! They’ll start strutting and bending and dancing and writhing! Haha!
Ziana Zain – Anggapanmu, Madah Berhelah and other songs
Particularly ‘Anggapanmu’ and ‘Madah Berhelah’, many of my gay friends love Malaysia’s Whitney Houston particularly her older songs from one of her live concerts.
Katy Perry – Peacock, Last Friday Night and others
When this song was first released, my gay friends were more than eager to perform LIVE specially for me. At first, I didn’t get the whole song, but I later realized that it was the perfect song for my daily wake-up call, haha!
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock… your peacock, cock!
Sadly, this song is no longer searchable at most karaoke places!
Anuar Zain- Sedetik Lebih, Keabadian Cinta and others
Well, it’s not a surprise why gay men love his songs! Haha! I love ‘Sedetik Lebih‘ just as much as they love him! Haha! This is one of his best songs ever, from the official soundtrack of ‘Merong Mahawangsa‘. In case you don’t know, he is the younger brother of Ziana Zain!
Britney Spears – Toxic and other songs
How could any gay boy NOT want to sing a Britney? He must be mad, or perhaps he’s from #TeamChristinaAguilera, yes, if you still remember their old feud between the two pop princesses back in the days when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth.
Toxicis easily the top pick. If you ask me, I’ll go for I’m A Slave 4 U! Woooot wooot!
Alyah – Sesal Separuh Nyawa and other songs
Alyah has recorded many great songs that will continuously be played on the radio and subsequently sung at the karaoke too. We love her sultry and powerful vocal. A couple of years ago, we all sang to Kisah Hati, so this year, we sing Sesal Separuh Nyawa, which was rumoured to be based on real life story. Whose? Well, I don’t know!
Dayang Nurfaizah – Di Pintu Syurga and other songs
Yes, this song was a chart topper back in ‘Ariana Rose’ TV series days. It catapulted Keith Foo’s name to stardom, as well as his leading lady, Fathia Latiff, who looks a lot like my friend, Nik Sara Sofia from Kelantan. Dayang Nurfaizah is also known as Malaysian Beyonce for her R & B Take a listen to this song and you’ll understand why people love it and gay men sing it.
Pussycat Dolls – Sway and other songs
Most of the time, they don’t even know what they’re singing, but they choose this song for the fun of moving, shaking and swaying within that small room we call karaoke paradiso. Another PCD’s song that deserves to be on the list would be Buttons featuring Snoop Dog. Hush Hush ain’t too bad either!
Malaysia’s No 1 singer is undeniably an icon among my gay friends. They will sing her songs at karaoke. Oh, and this is another indicator that your supposedly macho, straight friend might be gay after all. Don’t believe me? Well, check their iPod!
Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor – Marvin Gaye
Oh, this is the absolute winner! This is one of my go-to songs at the moment. I could drive around in heavy traffic and sing this song non-stop to ease my boredom. And the video clip is just so … ahem… sexual, but in a cute way. I mean, those orgy scenes are just too high school, isn’t it? Haha!
Honestly, every time I hear this song, I can only think of one person and how I wish I could turn back time and tell him, “Baby, let’s Marvin Gaye it and get it on!”
Truth be told, I miss going to the karaoke with my girlfriends too. Most of them are married, some have moved out of Kuala Lumpur. But my distorted memory of singing our girly hearts out is something like this…
Celebrating Life A Year At A Time Aaaaahhh, finally, the day that some of us dread every year, our BIRTHDAY! Don’t get me wrong, I love birthdays, especially my own. I’ve never been those who’d hide my age. Even if I do, I don’t deduct, I’d add on a few years more just for the fun of it. Back then birthdays were all about party, celebration and presents. There was never a day in my birthday throughout my childhood all through teenage years that my Dad forgot to buy me a grand birthday cake. Of course, the older I got, the more he realized his taste in cake was never quite his forte; leaving my siblings and I the freedom to choose.
Happy birthday to me! (Source: Internet)
Nowadays, birthdays are just like any other day if not more stressful. Why I say stressful? Well, I’ve been so busy this year that I forgot it was going to be my birthday soon. Actually, I planned to order a great cake from a friend of mine. I know she bakes awesomeness in the form of everything sweet, nice and full of guilty pleasures. However, my schedule has been a little hectic for me that I forgot a great cake does not bake in one day. A nice cake, perhaps because you can just go to the nearest bakery and start pointing at each lovely confectionery before making your purchase. But a great cake… ahhhh, a great cake is a masterpiece made by an artistic soul. Surely, each of you has a great cake in mind. Some like crafty fondant cake, some like cool ice cream cake. Some like vanilla, some like fruity.
Fancy schmancy and pricey, not really my thing (Source: Internet)
As for me, the perfect cake is something with lots and lots of chocolate. Yes, that is my vice; anything sweet and chocolatey. On top of it, show me just how chocolatey my great cake can be; with chocolate sprinkles, shaved chocolate, chocolate Oreo, chocolate balls, chocolate mousse, chocolate syrup, aaaaaahhhh… come up with something chocolatey and I’ll put it on my great cake. I live for chocolate and I swear by eating a large bar of chocolate on a weekly basis. Not to mention the smaller bars every time I fill up my the tank, haha!
The Ultimate Chocolatey Great Birthday Cake (Source: Internet)
But this year, I just completely blank out. I can’t even remember it was going to be my birthday until I started seeing people posting wishes and texting photos and videos and many more. Then it hit me, “Oh wow! Either I’m just too busy or I’m so old, my mind is slipping off and I forgot my own birthday!“. What is wrong with my birthday year 2015? Honestly, there is nothing wrong, but I believe that a birthday is one of those moments that you really close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes again and finally, ask yourself, “What have you achieved so far for as long as Allah has given you a chance to live on this Earth?“.
Oooh, now that’s a good combination! Something sweet to ease your craving and something sour to balance it all. (Source: Internet)
There are many things in life that each and every of us want to achieve. Some want to achieve more at work, some want to achieve more at home. Some want to achieve greatness, some want to achieve recognition and yes, there are some of us who just want to achieve the unachievable. Not that I look down of them, but there is a fine line between a dream and a vision. Just like my dream of one day to marry Hugh Jackman. Well, we all know how that ended up, don’t we? Haha! Sometimes when I look back, I wonder, what have I done so far and how far have I gone? Could I do so much more and could I go so much further? Well, just like any other human being, I have some pasts that given the chance to turn back time, I’d change it all back and make it better. Of course, we also learn that Doraemon’s time machine has yet to be built and the DeLorean car is in a museum somewhere on the planet.
I don’t mind some of this!!! (Source: Internet)
When dreaming doesn’t work and time travel is impossible, what is left for all of us? I guess, there is always passion that drives us further in life. There is always some hope that reminds us of all the good things that have happened and all the good things that WILL happen. And of course, there is always our connection to Allah, whether it is visible through our worship and invisible through our tiny voices of prayers at every breath. We will find our ways no matter how hard things will be, as life is not about the destination but the journey you take and the people you meet along the way. This year, I plan to live a much better life, at home and at work and everywhere else. I plan to learn as much as I can and do as much as I can. And maybe one day, share as much as I can with the rest of the world.
Now that’s a great cake for a coffee lover such as myself (Source: Internet)
So, with that, I wish myself ‘Happy Birthday’, may all my dreams turn into reality especially the part when I said I wanted to marry Chris Evan (sorry, did I say Hugh Jackman just now?). To all other birthday boys and girls out there, enjoy life and make the best of everything you do! When you do, share with us and share with the rest of the world. Happy, Happy Birthday again! –> Yes, I’m actually that narcissistic! So, what will my great birthday cake look like? Mmmmm… I honestly have no idea. Guess, I’ll just have to keep my heart open, like I always do in life!
Open your heart and Allah will do the rest (Source:Internet)
Yes, you read right. I was cyber stalked recently and it was still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. Well, truth be told, it happened on Monday, haha! So, yes, pretty much a couple of yesterdays ago. *Note: Cyber-stalking, according to Wikipedia, is the use of Internet and other electronic means to stalk or harass others, be it individual, group or organization. Cyber-stalking may also include false accusations, defamation, slander and libel. Anything to do with monitoring, identity theft, threats, vandalism, solicitation for sex or gathering information is also considered cyber-stalking.
Could this be the face of a cyber-stalker? (Source: Internet)
Okay, so excitement aside, it wasn’t really a scary case of cyber stalking. I’ve met the boy once during the Russian Armed Forces Day celebration at Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre not too long ago. Let’s call him AZ, shall we? During the Russian Armed Forces Day celebration, I invited my friend, Edlyn to join me as well and I told her, we could have fun and find her a nice Russian boyfriend. So as we scanned through the whole banquet hall, we didn’t really find anyone suitable for Edlyn. Besides, there were many distractions along the way, haha, with military attachés from some countries trying to get my number and all. Yes, it sounds a little vain, isn’t it? Haha!
The Belles of the Ball at the Russian Armed Forces Day in February
Finally, after scanning every inch of the banquet hall, my eyes fell onto one young man in suit. I’ve noticed him before at the event. Although he didn’t strike me as someone familiar, despite my rather long involvement with the Embassy of the Russian Federation in Malaysia. He was standing next to a familiar face though. So, I whispered to Edlyn if she thought the guy was cute. She glanced for a while and said, he was okay. Haha, well, I told her, let’s just talk to the guy and we could decide later. So, there I was, devising a plan to talk to the guy. You see, I’m actually quite at good at this after some time of practising to throw shyness away and start communicating with strangers.
Sharing with Edlyn why I love working with the Russians
Of course, I spoke to the familiar face first, but please excuse me, although I’ve seen him one too many times, I never got his name. Ahaaa, it was Dmitry, a typical Russian name. Then, I turned to the other guy and introduced myself. Unsurprisingly, he shared a name with my Iskandar, which is also rather typical among Russians. That was how I met AZ. AZ turned out to be very pleasant indeed. A real gentleman too. And then I met his mother. Ahaaaa, apparently, I knew his mother, met her on various Russian occasions, haha! And then only Edlyn and I found out that he was so young! Yes, it is a legal age but I I still felt he was a little too young for Edlyn. Still, again, I think AZ was a real gentleman at such a young age.
“Manners maketh man” – Kingsman: The Secret Service (Source: Internet)
Anyway, fast-forward to last Monday, I was chatting with my friend, Polina Matveycheva from the Russian Embassy when I saw a new Facebook friend request notification with a Russian name that I was not familiar with. I just clicked on the profile and saw a familiar face. So, I asked Polina and she confirmed that it was AZ. I also noticed that AZ and I didn’t have a mutual friend which means Polina was not on his friends list. Anyway, she told me that the boy was very sweet to give flowers to Polina and her friends. So, I accepted the friend request and clicked on his profile. Then, I posted something funny, “Damn! How did you find me?“. Instantly, he sent me a private message and told me he found me through Google. Anyway, the thing that I didn’t like about Facebook Messenger Apps was, it was really irritating because the phone number thing keeps popping up. So, I gave him my number and in less than 10 seconds, I got his Whatsapp text.
I can’t imagine the detective work involved to find me (Source: Internet)
AZ said, it wasn’t easy to find me. It got me wondering, why would he in the first place. He told me, he went back that night realizing that he didn’t have my contact number. He tried asking another Russian friend of mine, Anita but she didn’t have my number. He could’ve asked from Polina but he chose not too, believing that Google knew it all. Curious, I asked AZ to tell me. So, it turned out that AZ was bogged down with studies and all (yes, he’s attending college, so you can imagine how I feel) that he only started Googling for me on Monday at 6pm. He told me, he looked for Paris, Malaysia and Russia; trying to connect the dots.
Here’s Paris and its landmark, the Eiffel Tower (Source: Internet)
And here’s Russia and the famous Kremlin in Moscow (Source: Internet)
And in all its glory, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and the iconic Twin Towers (Source: Internet)
Of course, coming to think about it, it must be extremely hard, considering Paris/Malaysia/Russia might probably lead you to holiday packages or flight tickets, haha! Yet, he didn’t stop. He even asked his friends to help him look me up on Google using Chinese and Malay keywords; but to no avail. Honestly this part got me thinking really hard and I was like, ‘Huh?’. He even shared with me how he came across: MALAYSIA BLOGGER PARIS RUSSIA-HILTON-SOPHIE-L’OREAL-MIKI-NUXE-FRANCE-ENCHANTEUR. How cute was that?
How many times have I been jested and linked to Paris Hilton? (Source: Internet)
Still he didn’t find me. And probably around 10pm, he was led to my friend, Dik Bee’s blog post on ‘Russian Dance‘ which featured AZ’s friend, Lisa Zhevnovataya whose father, Captain (Navy) Sergey Valeriyevich Zhevnovatiyy is an acquaintance of mine. That was when he found my full name and yes, finally he found my Facebook profile. I was so touched by such gesture. Yes, people may say, “Oh, come on, he’s only a child!“. To me, what truly matters is the effort that AZ showed to Google me up. If he was old enough, I’d give him a big hug for making me feel so beautiful and sexy. I mean, would anyone really go through lengths to Google someone up like this? Ladies, how many men you met at events or parties would actually do this for you?
Any woman in her right mind would be flattered by such gesture (Source: Internet)
So, in my defence, I’m entitled to feel gorgeous with such attention given to me. Yes, some people may say, “The boy is developing a crush“, but I think he just found me interesting, considering that we are both Mass Communications people and we also learned German. How’s that for common ground? Haha, oh, no! I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just still very much delighting in such thought that someone just did something absolutely sweet. So, allow me some more time to revel in this cute adoration! It’ll give a major boost to my ego as a woman! And no! We’re not going to end up like Harold and Maude! Hahaha! Not that much of a cougar!
A famous story of an old lady and a young boy, Harold and Maude (Source: Internet)
See you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris
William Shakespeare wrote this in Romeo and Juliet: What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet…
Romeo & Juliet (1968) is my favourite version starring Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting (Source: Internet)
Many people often wonder if Paris was my real name. In fact, usually when people ask me if the name was in my identification card, I simply say, ‘Yes’. I don’t take it as a lie, I just don’t think it’s very nice to ask too many personal questions to others. Don’t you find it annoying when people ask you rude questions like “How long were you married?“, “When did you give birth to your daughter?” or “Are you divorced?”. Or to discriminate someone by asking, “Are you gay?” or “Why aren’t you dieting?” and the list is endless.
Anyway, as many people often wonder and I will open up a little bit here on The Miss Paris Diaries. I secretly used ‘Paris‘ as a pen name since I was in high school. Truth be told, I was actually inspired by this show I watched on TV with this character named ‘Asia‘, and no, it has nothing to do with Asia Argento. So, I thought, how cool it was to have a continent or country for a name. Remember the movie ‘Splash‘ with Daryl Hannah played a mermaid named ‘Madison‘ after Madison Square? Then I found more names inspired by places including Sydney, Savannah and many more. Later, I read that Kim Basinger named her daughter ‘Ireland‘ and I got more excited. In fact, Olivia Hussey’s daughter is called India Eisley, you might remember her from Underworld: Awakening. *Note: For more ideas of baby names inspired by places, you can check some out at www.babycenter.com. There are some male, female and unisex names that you may like for your babies.
Daryl Hannah was splashing-ly beautiful as a mermaid named Madison (Source: Internet)
Then, there was this TV series about The Three Muskateers being set in Paris and immediately, I fell in love with the name. So, I quietly began using Paris in the stories that I wrote as a teenager, sometimes as the character, sometimes as my pen name. And then I realized ‘Paris‘ had a nice ring when combined with my real name. Of course, I changed the spelling to ‘Ashiqin‘, just to make it sound a little more exotic, haha! So, say it with me, people. PARIS ASHIQIN. Now, doesn’t that sound cool? Of course, I used Paris Ashiqin a lot more since Year 2000. When I was in Germany in between 2002 and 2003, I noticed how my name was commonly mispronounced by many people and because the first name alone is long enough, it was quite a mouthful too. So, I just told them to call me ‘Paris. And everyone I knew there called me Paris.
When I moved to my permanent host parents’ house in Schmelz, that’s a small town about 30 kilometres from Saarbruecken, Saarland. From Berlin to Schmelz, where more speak French compared to English, due to the proximity (70 kilometres from the French border), being called Paris was a lot easier. Bear in mind, in a small town like Schmelz, everybody knows everybody and it was quite a privilege to be hosted by a family who owned the local bakery, the Fesenbecks. So, I was unofficially known as Paris Fesenbeck, haha, the host daughter of Karin and Horst Fesenbeck. People still asked though on the reason to use Paris. Suddenly, it hit me. My ustaz from primary school once told me the meaning of my full name ‘Nurashikin‘ is ‘Cahaya Kekasihku‘ or ‘The Light of Love‘, which I thought was a little funny at first, but then I learned to embrace it. So, I told my friends, my name is ‘The Light of Love’ and I was from Kuala Lumpur, the City of Lights and Paris sounded like a reflection of my name. Then, surprisingly a classmate actually told me, Paris the City of Love was just a couple of hours away by car from Schmelz and it suited me very well. I took that as a good sign to use Paris Ashiqin in my life.
*Note: Kerrie Hess is an Australian artist who has illustrated for many established brands including Vogue, Chanel, Kate Spade New York, Louis Vuitton and many others. She has lived in Hong Kong, Paris and London. She is also the author and illustrator for ‘Shoestring Chic‘. Perhaps Malaysians are familiar with her exclusive illustrations for a local brand called Covo Cosmetics, one of my favourite make-up brands. I swear Covo Cosmetics has the perfect foundation and Matte Lipstick in Dusty Rose.
The lovely Kerrie Hess, as lovely as her illustrations
(Source: Kerrie Hess Illustration) Coming home later and attending Universiti Teknologi MARA, Arau Campus, I continued to use Paris Ashiqin among friends and college mates. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. When some thought it was just a normal for a college girl to have fancy nicknames, some just couldn’t get pass that name. Don’t be surprised if I say, once, my class representative (somewhat like a class monitor) organized a meeting with our Head of Programme, Puan Hariyati Ariffin to discuss my refusal to use my real name in class. Being a little older than the rest of the class, I honestly thought it was extremely petty and totally unnecessary. It was not like I used Paris Ashiqin when writing papers or anything. I just used it as a nickname. Even when I was working for a sports organization and the broadcasting station, I was condemned by many for using Paris Ashiqin as a nickname. People even said silly stuff like I was trying to find fame from Paris Hilton, which was funny because I never knew who Paris Hilton was when I started using Paris Ashiqin. Sometimes on a good day, I’d just laugh and say, “Yes, I’m the Paris without the sex video“. Honestly, I was tired of explaining it to everyone too, so I when people asked if it’s in my IC, I just said ‘yes’. When people said even sillier stuff like, “Do you see yourself as a celebrity that you need a nickname like that?”, I just ignored them. Haters will be haters, people. Just don’t let them get to you. Besides, it’s just another sign how some people must be so boring AND bored to death that they need to be bothered about how other people (us the more interesting and exciting ones) run their lives.
Perez Hilton was inspired by Paris Hilton, but Paris Ashiqin was inspired by something else (Source: Internet)
The longer I use Paris Ashiqin, the more I learn about the importance of having a personal branding. Yes, I’m not a celebrity nor am I someone successful in business or known for anything great, but I’m actually proud because throughout my boring years of existence, I’ve achieved some things that others may not have. I guess that is the reason why I don’t really understand the terms like ‘jealousy‘, ‘back-stabbing‘ or ‘bringing others down‘ nor do I condone them. Of course, when many people around you are like that, it’s better to stay away. I just stick to the good ones. No point in downgrading yourself as a human being just to blend in the popular group. *Note:Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands. While previous self-help management techniques were about self-improvement, the personal branding concept suggests instead that success comes from self-packaging. (Source: Wikipedia)
You see the word ‘Trump’, you think ‘Donald Trump’. Now that’s a very good example of a strong brand name (Source: Internet)
Of course, personal branding such as mine can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. You’ll be surprised to know how sometimes my name has been used to spread rumours and gossips. One of the best examples was when I was working at the broadcasting station and I was at the surau to pray. Just as I finished praying and was sitting there quietly, I heard some women gossiping about me. It was not that hard to miss out the name ‘Paris‘ in the conversation. So, what did I do? I just took off my telekung and turned to show my face to those women and walked away. Not too long after that, somebody put up a signage that said, ‘Surau adalah tempat untuk beribadat dan bukan medan mengumpat‘ which literally translates into ‘The praying room is a place for worship and not gossip‘.
Bad Girl Riri doesn’t give a hoot to what people say about her, she’s still the one with fabulous songs and BIG MONEY! (Source: Internet)
There were moments that I just couldn’t stand it any more and I just cried as much as I can for relief. There were moments that I wished I could just scream and tell them to SHUT UP, but I couldn’t. Crying is indeed a great therapy and I intend to be the bigger, better person. I keep telling myself, people fear what they don’t understand. Perhaps some people feel threatened by my presence. It is like a she-wolf walking into a new pack every time, some alpha just might get offended and defensive. Of course, when it hurts, it hurts really bad, but when you’ve done something good and have people crediting to ‘Paris Ashiqin‘ for everything that you do right, nothing can beat that feeling of triumph. That’s why I always tell people, the road to success is never easy but when you strive and be sincere with everything you do, God will open the doors for you. All you have to do is enter with open arms and open heart.
Paris Ashiqin, the Mad Bitch From Hell!
As for me, I’m sticking to what I believe in, my own personal brand, Paris Ashiqin. I don’t need to be a successful businesswoman or a fashion designer or even a celebrity to have my own personal brand. I just want to stand out among the other Nurashikins or Nurul Ashiqins or Siti Norashikins or Asyikins in the world, I just want to be me. Then, who am I? I’m Paris Ashiqin, and if you can’t swallow that, then, there must be something wrong with your digestive system. Or you just took too much laxative today. And this video was taken from US TV Series, Pepper Dennis starring Rebecca Romjin and Josh Hopkins. See what happens when you don’t respect somebody’s desire for an alias. Oh, Josh Hopkins, you’re so cheeky!
See you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris
Recently Oliver and I went to watch ‘Jupiter Ascending‘ primarily because he’s a big fan of the Wachowski Brothers who are now better known as The Wachowskis (read more here) and I’m a big fan of Channing Tatum (hot, hot, hot!). First, we were already snickering with the intro on how Jupiter’s parents met while at university in St. Petersburg because he likes to tease me over my affiliations with the Russians in Malaysia. Haha, that’s another story in another confession. A couple of minutes into the movie, I realized there were some similarities with a few other sci-fi movies I’ve watched, particularly the Star Wars franchise. So, just imagine when reading Wikipedia on the movie, yup, I was right, many describe Jupiter Ascending as a cross between Matrix and Star Wars, hence the title above.
Jupiter Jones playing Cinderella to earn a living (Source: Warner Bros)
So, the movie is about Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) whose parents were physics/maths professors at a university in St. Petersburg, Russia. Her father, Max Jones (James D’Arcy) was murdered when their home was broken into, forcing her mother to flee to the United States for the famous American Dreams I guess. Fast-forward, Jupiter and her Russian family who refuse to speak Russian at home (perhaps to become more American, haha!) run their cleaning business. Jupiter’s cousin, Vladie (Kirk Gurry) convinces her to sell her eggs to a fertility clinic as a way to make money for Jupiter who has been dreaming of owning a telescope, sharing the same passion with her late father.
In that position? Is that really a fertility clinic? (Source: Warner Bros)
While at the fertility clinic, Jupiter is attacked by aliens disguising as humans. Then, the hottest alien in the movie, Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) saves her. Later, Caine introduces Jupiter to Stinger Apini (Sean Bean) who used to serve in the military with Caine but was punished and exiled to Earth. It turns out that Caine is a genetically engineered hunter by combining human and wolf DNA, making him a Lycantant. That explains his pointy ears and strong sense of smell while tracking Jupiter at the beginning of the movie. It is also revealed that Jupiter is an alien royalty, as Stinger explains it, the bees are created with the ability to identify the alien royalty or known as The Entitled from other types of aliens.
The nasty brats from the House of Abrasax (Source: Internet)
It is also revealed the heirs to the alien dynasty from the House of Abrasax (cool name, huh?) are all looking for Jupiter, each with his or her own ulterior motive. Balem Abrasax (Eddie Redmayne) is the eldest and supposedly the real heir of Earth, somewhat a sociopath and does very little to hide his greed in harvesting Earth. While Titus Abrasax (Douglas Booth) is the fun-loving playboy and there’s the sister, Kalique Abrasax (Tuppence Middleton) who tells Jupiter that she is the reincarnation of the Lady of Abrasax.
The Lady of Abrasax, the mother of Balem, Kalique and Titus (Source: Warner Bros)
Titus even goes as far as asking Jupiter to marry him, supposedly in the name of a better good. He also reveals that Earth is a farm for the aliens to preserve their youth, as they produce somewhat youth serum using the essence of humans. In fact, according to Titus, to produce a high quality canister of youth serum, 100 humans have to die. So, that is what they call harvesting. An act purely driven by greed which takes place once a planet has reached a certain number of occupants, obviously as we all know, Earth has already depleted most of its resources. Of course, when there are a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy, love sparks somewhere. When Jupiter tries to show her interests towards Caine, he rejects her, fearing that he might hurt her like he did before to an Entitled. Apparently, his beastly side got the best of him and he attacked the Entitled.
What a sexy, sexy alien Werewolf we have here! (Source: FB/JupiterAscending)
Oh, there is more to Jupiter Ascending, but I’m not going to spoil the fun. Overall Jupiter Ascending is a fun movie. Yes, if you Google, you may not read a lot of positive reviews, but honest to God, it was an amazing movie. The special effects are superb! The designs of the alien world along with the many, many designs of aliens are just great. It appears as if each of the Abrasax heir lives in the world that reflects their personality. My favourite abode goes to Kalique’s Utopian/Pandora-esque (Avatar) exterior and with Asrgardian/Ancient Eqyptian interior, simply breath-taking!
Kalique’s beautiful alien world (Source: Internet)
You’ve got to love the detailed designs in Jupiter Ascending (Source: Internet)
A little eerie? Yup, you guess right! This is Balem Abrasax’s place (Source: Internet)
Of course, when you notice some aliens are actually inspired by Earth animals such as lizard/bat hybrid, the human-deer hybrid Famulus (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) and the bird-like assistant working for Kalique, the Elephant Man crew under Captain Domioka Tsing (Nikki Amuka-Bird) they will all get you wondering, perhaps the alien race was not so creative after all, haha. Animal Planet in space? Haha! And then, watch out for the Keepers. They look like Gollum’s cousins lost in space! Haha!
Kalique’s subjects including Bird Man Malidictes (Source: Internet)
Above all, I love the alien costumes! It was like watching Devil Wears Prada in space! Of course, one will gap seeing the wedding dress Jupiter wears, complete with her gorgeous head gear. The nude and red combination was simply amazing, it brings out Mila Kunis’s beauty even more. My next favourite costume is the one Jupiter wears while having dinner with Titus. Even the supportive characters have awesome outfits, for example, Kalique’s members of staff.
Don’t you just love that dress? Check out the necklace too! (Source: Internet)
I only wish the producers have written more about Jupiter and her links to the House of Abrasax. Yes, she is reincarnated, but how? Why?
One of the perks of being royalty, the bees don’t sting. How about snake or ant bites? (Source: Internet)
And if she is the real replica (not clone, clones are said to have brought problems in the movie, haha!) of the Lady of Abrasax, then wouldn’t Titus request to marry Jupiter seem somewhat incestuous? I mean, the alien royals did call her ‘Mother’. So, now, this has become Hamlet in space!
Eerrr… Marrying your own mother? Eawwww!! (Source: Internet)
Of course, when you watch this movie, you’ll feel a certain Deja Vu sweeping across the cinema hall with many scenes and many characters in it. In fact, Oliver thought the flying boots Caine wears reminded him of the Iron Man suit, haha! Remember the first time Tony Stark first invented the suit and he tried to fly? Yup, that was much like that. The best actor throughout the movie is definitely Eddie Redmayne! His portrayal of Balem Abrasax was simply evil. He didn’t use the cool but crazy approach Tom Hiddlestone did playing Loki, but Eddie is an amazing actor. Many British actors I know possess this charismatic aura and they can play any role thrown at them. To imagine how I first saw Eddie acted in The Other Boleyn Girl playing the sweet-natured William Strafford who married Mary Boleyn after leaving court.
What role can’t Eddie Redmayne pull off? Stephen Hawking and now evil alien royalty? (Source: FB/JupiterAscending)
If you love Sci-Fi, you’ll love this movie. If you love Channing Tatum, you’ll love this movie too. See you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris
Oliver and I saw the trailer of ‘Project Almanac’ a couple of weeks ago and decided to watch it recently. In my head, I had Michael Bay in my mind. Michael Bay. Michael Bay. Michael Bay. I mean, we’re talking about the guy with Armageddon, Pearl Harbor and the Transformers film series. So, would I be disappointed?
Let’s take a look at the trailer now, shall we?
So, there we were, Oliver and I, rushing from snapping photos of the Chinese New Year Decor at 1Utama to looking for flat shoes for work (since there will be less driving and more LRT rides after Thaipusam Day) and later getting the popcorn and soft drinks, and later straight into the cinema.
From the first scene, I was already put off by the found footage genre. Oliver and I asked each other how we didn’t see it from the trailer. Don’t mind us old dears, we get headaches every time we watch found footage genres. Just not for us.
*Note: Found Footage is a genre of film making, especially horror, in which all or parts of the film, as if the movie is made of the discovered recording left by the characters. Found footage is supposed to give the audience a more naturalistic view of the movie, as if we are part of the filming. Often the characters speak off screen while filming. The first known found footage genre is the 1980’s Cannibal Holocaust and became popular again during the heights of The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity film series.
The movie begins with David Raskin (Jonny Weston) and his friends producing his admission video to MIT by showing a physics experiment. While his application to attend MIT is accepted, his application for loan is only met with a much smaller portion of the whole tuition fees.
Frustrated, David goes to their attic and finds a video camera from his 7th birthday. To his surprise, he sees his 17-year old self on the mirror reflection on the video which he shows to his sister, Christina (Virginia Gardner) and friends, Quinn Goldberg (Sam Lerner) and Adam (Allen Evangelista).
David sees his current self in a video dated 10 years ago (Source: Internet)
They go their the Raskins’ basement and comes across Ben Raskin’s old project for the military to build a time machine called ‘Project Almanac‘. With the notes and blueprints of the machine, David and his friends begin to rebuild it. They try to use all sorts of power source to kick start the machine, after stealing hydrogen canisters from their school.
Finally, when a neighbour organizes a party, David tricks his high school crush, Jessie Pierce (Sofia Black D’Elia) to park her car at his house so that he can use her hybrid car battery. Just as he starts to switch on the machine, Jessie barges in and she sees the whole experiment with their toy car attached to a GoPro camera.
David and his friends start to rebuild the time machine (Source: Internet)
Among the effects from the science experiment (Source: Internet)
The gang tries to travel back in time and breaks into Quinn’s house. When Quinn draws a smiley on his nape, the Quinn from the past wakes up and they have a moment of facing each other, almost erasing both Quinns from the timeline. So, the gang sets some rules including never to jump into the past alone and to avoid from finding their other self.
They plan several jumps into the past to redo things they think they did wrong. The funniest part is definitely seeing Quinn jumping into the past several times to ace his chemistry test. Christina takes the opportunity to get back at her high school enemy, Sarah Nathan.
Christina actually spilled her drinks earlier, so she jumps back to spill two drinks this time! (Source: Internet)
Later, they all travel back into time to attend the Lollapalooza. When David and Jessie have a moment together, he lets it pass which disappoints Jessie. Feeling regret after going through the video at the message wall over and over again, David decides to break the rule to jump back into the past alone. He rectifies his mistake and comes back, realizing he’s in a relationship with Jessie.
David jumps back to steal the lost moment (Source: Internet)
However, changing the past has caused a ripple effect to everyone around him. So tries several times, one of which drags Jessie along. Jessie ends up meeting her past self and disappear from both timeline. Going back to the present, David is pursued by the police for Jessie’s disappearance.
While running away from the police, David runs back to his school to steal a hydrogen canister to jump back into time (Source: Internet)
Finally, he goes back to his 7th birthday party and meets his father. David warns his father of the machine’s dangerous consequences. When his father goes upstairs to say goodbye to 7 year-old David, 17 year-old David destroys the machine with everything else, deleting him from the timeline.
Then, we go back to the attic scene, this time, instead of one, David and Christina find two cameras; one with the original recording of what we’ve seen throughout the movie.
Overall, I think the movie was not too shabby, but enough with the found footage please! I’m an old lady, I’d like to relax my eyes when I watch the movie. I had another movie in my head, yes, something more like Transformers instead of the Blair Witch Project, urghhh… I guess, if David focuses more on going to MIT, well, it may not be appealing to the younger generation, so, yeah, it was not too bad. For those of you who love sci-fi, you’ll enjoy watching this. The effects are as usual, amaaaazing! Anything with Michael Bay written in it, you’re guaranteed full satisfaction when it comes to special effect!
Honestly, I’m not sure if Project Almanac will leave a deep impact in my life, but there are some very, very good movies about time travelling that I think you’ll agree.
10. Bill & Ted franchise
Bill S. Preston (Alex Winter) and Theodore ‘Ted’ Logan (Keanu Reeves) are two high school dimwitted metalheads who meet Rufus (George Carlin) from the Year 2688 to ensure that the boys pass their history test for the sake of the future. And they travel with their iconic telephone booth time machine to meet historical figures to learn more about them.
In the sequel, Chuck De Nomolos (Joss Ackland) and his robots, Evil Bill and Evil Ted travel back into time to stop the real Bill and Ted from winning the battle of the bands. The robots kill Bill and Ted and the two have to face Death and defeat him in games.
One of Keanu Reeves’s popular films (Source: Internet)
A cult classic you’re familiar with surely (Source: Internet)
9. Terminator franchise
“I’ll be back” has been one of the most memorable quotes in the Hollywood history. And guess what, he’ll be back soon in Terminator Genisys, woot woot! In case you’re wondering why I’m excited, well, the super gorgeous Jai Courtney will be in it too!
This franchise is probably the best of cyborg movies ever. Ironically, Arnold Schwarzenegger rarely speaks in throughout the movies, haha. When he does, well, it comes with the square, expressionless face, haha. Well, he plays a cyborg, of course.
With the fifth movie coming out soon, I’m sure, many would agree, this time-travelling franchise is a major classic. I know, I’ll definitely go and watch Genisys upon its release.
We can’t wait for Jai Courtney to strip, I mean, Terminator Genisys to come out! (Source:Internet)
8. The Butterfly Effect franchise
Yes, there is a franchise for those who don’t know. Probably people don’t know because the other two movies are not as strong as the first one.
Evan Treborn (Ashton Kutcher) is a college student who used to experience unexplainable blackouts as a child. So, he learned to write journals as part of his therapy. One day he finds the journal and reads them. He starts to travel into the past right before he experiences a blackout, which finally explains his childhood ordeal.
He tries many times to change his past but when he returns to present time, he ends up changing his own future. The version I watched was the one which ended with Evan going back to his mother’s pregnancy and committed suicide by strangling himself with the umbilical cord, which was tragic for someone who grew up watching his comedies.
This psychological thriller really marked another milestone in Ashton Kutcher’s filmography (Source: Internet)
7. Austin Powers franchise
Although ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery‘ focuses on Austin Powers (Mike Myers) and Dr. Evil (yes, Mike Myers too) after being reawakened from a cryogenic sleep of 30 years, film No 2 The Spy Who Shagged Me and No 3 Goldmember actually centre time travelling.
In The Spy Who Shagged Me, Austin goes back into 1969 and meets CIA Agent, Felicity Shagwell (Heather Grahams) while in Goldmember, he goes back into 1975 to save his father, Nigel Powers (Michael Caine). His love interest this time is the super sexxxy, Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce).
The funny thing is, no matter how far he goes back, when Dr. Evil’s right hand man, Number Two (Robert Wagner) is portrayed by a Young Number Two (Rob Lowe), apparently Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling) remains the same. Hahahaha!
Groovy Baby! Oh, behave! (Source: Internet)
6. Mr. Peabody and Sherman
Aaaah, this animation actually made me cry. The movie begins with Mr. Peabody (Ty Burell), a talking dog who adopts a boy he calls Sherman (Max Charles). Mr. Peabody and Sherman always take trips into the past to study history together.
When Sherman starts schooling, he meets Penny Peterson (Ariel Winter) and the two often argue until Penny pushes Sherman hard enough that he bites Penny. While trying to make amends with the Petersons, Sherman takes Penny time travelling.
I have a very high regard for this movie (Source: Internet)
5. Men In Black 3
I really hope MIB movies won’t end here. Since the first movie, it was all fun, fun, fun! Still, I think the first movie is the best. MIB3 brings Agent J (Will Smith) back in time to save his partner, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) from being killed by Boris the Animal.
Just imagine Josh Brolin playing a young K supposedly in his late 20s, haha, what a laugh! You’ll feel touched to see how K never materializes his love affair with Agent O (Alice Eve plays the younger version, while Emma Thompson is the older version).
In this movie, you’ll find out the history between J and K long before movie No 1.
Agent J is back to change Agent K’s past (Source: Internet)
4. X-Men: Days of Future Past
One of the highly anticipated movies of all, the latest X-Men movie! Instead of building a time machine, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page) uses her mutant power to bring Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) back into the past. It was quite amusing to see the Wolverine with the original claws pre-Adamantium wearing bell-bottoms too!
In this movie, Raven/Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) is trying to kill Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage) from developing the Sentinel programme. Logan goes back in the 1970s to persuade Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) to help him release Erik Lensherr/Magneto from a high security prison.
Series of adrenaline rush and action packed moments later, Mystique rescue President Nixon. Logan wakes up to a new history all over again, where none of his mutant friends died including his one true love, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen).
Thank you, Dougray Scott for declining the role of Wolverine! Thank you, Hugh Jackman for ignoring your wife and took this role! (Source: Internet)
3. 13 Going On 30
Don’t you just love Jenna Rink’s transformation in this movie? Frustrated when her 13th birthday party doesn’t turn out the way she wants it, Jenna (Christa B. Allen) locks herself in the closet wishing she is 30, the perfect age for women according to Poise magazine.
But when she is 30, Jenna (Jennifer Garner) realizes she doesn’t have real friends, she has an affair with a colleague’s husband and that she has been selling information to a competitor. She tries to find Matt (Mark Ruffalo), her childhood friend and sparks fly between them, although Matt is engaged to a local weather girl.
It’s adorable when the two work together for a revamp photoshoot for Poise magazine with Liz Phair’s “Why Can’t I?” playing in the background. Oooohhhh!
One of Jennifer Garner’s best! (Source:Internet)
2. The Time Traveler’s Wife
I’ve always loved watching Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana in films. When they were paired for this movie, I was in heaven. I’ve watched this movie like dozens of time and every time, I’d hold back my tears.
Henry De Tamble (Eric Bana) is a librarian with a genetic disorder that allows him to time travel back and forth without control. Anything that triggers him can send him back into the past where he first meets Clare Abshire as a child and into the future to meet his daughter, Alba who also has the ability to time travel.
You’ll be touched with Henry’s struggle to remain at one time and one place with Clare, especially when at one point in time, Henry can’t return to his time, leaving his wife alone. It is also quite a saddening fact when Clare keeps suffering from miscarriages as the foetus also time travels.
The movie ends with Henry time travels into the future, long after he has passed away to meet Clare because she is his ‘big event’ after all.
A story of love, crossing the borders of time and place (Source: Internet)
1. Back to The Future franchise
Need I say more?
Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) meets Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) who invents a time-travelling machine, DeLorean. Marty is sent to 1955 and meets his parents who attend the same high school. By saving his mother from being hit by his father’s, Marty has changed the past as his mother Lorraine Baines (Lea Thompson) starts developing feelings for her own son. Realizing he will disappear if his parents do not have a relationship, Marty tries to help his father, George (Crispin Glover) to win Lorraine’s heart. George also has changed the future when he stands up against Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) who continuously bullies George.
In movie No 2, Doc brings Marty and his girlfriend, Jennifer to the future to save their son from going to jail. Guess when ‘the future’ is? It was supposed to be 2015! Haha, a good excuse to get the DVDs from Speedy and watch all three movies back-to-back. This time, the old Biff Tannen steals the DeLorean and goes back to 1955 to pass his younger self the Sports Almanac which Marty originally purchased to make money. With Biff changing the past, upon returning to the present time, Marty finds out that his father has died, while his mother was forced to marry Biff.
And finally, in No 3, Marty and Doc travel to 1885 back in the days of cowboys and ladies in ground-sweeping dresses. In this final instalment, Biff’s great grandfather, Bufort ‘Mad Dog’ Tannen supposedly has killed Doc. Marty travels before the date to save Doc and meets his great-great-grandparents, Seamus and Maggie McFly who came all the way from Ireland. This movie also ends with Doc inventing another time travelling machine, the locomotive equipped with a flux capacitor.
This is my all-time favourite time-travel movie! (Source: Internet)
These are just my favourite movies about time-travelling. You may have your own favourite.
Another of Sophie Kinsella’s best-seller, Mini Shopaholic! (Source: Internet)
Recently, my writer, Mel and I were assigned to the opening of Kids Gallery at One City Mall USJ. Mel was worried if we ended up stuck in traffic, so we left the office earlier. I was driving this time. The drive was as pleasant as it was the best ways for us to gossip about the world, haha. Mel being the Know-It-All of the Who’s Who and Everything-In, shared a lot of stuff. Every time he asked me if I’ve seen the latest music videos or read about the latest celebrity gossip, I’d just look at him with such a vacant look and say, ‘No‘. Haha! I know it annoys him on so many levels, but he has to face it, I’m an oldie. I know nuts about what’s happening around the world. My world only revolves around my home and work, haha.
One of the phases of One City Mall USJ (Source: Internet)
So, as we arrived, like one and a half hour earlier, and I was about to dunk his head into one of those fountains at One City Mall USJ, I fell in love with the way One City Mall USJ was designed. Oh, my! What a lovely establishment! And it was my first time there as I’m always and forever be a KL-Girl with no intentions of going outside of the familiar sense of KL. If the postcode doesn’t start with 5xxxx, then, it’s another planet to me. It was huuuuge but of course when we came, there were still some shops yet to be opened. So, we’ll be there again when they do!
About One City Mall, USJ
“At One City, life won’t come to a halt until we say ‘stop’!” Now that’s quite a catchphrase, isn’t it? Apparently this huge shopping mall is divided into 5 unique phases – Garden Shoppe, Sky Park, The Place, The Square and the MCT Mall. This new attraction is strategically located among the high density areas such as Subang Jaya, Shah Alam, Putra Heights and all the way to Klang; spreading across 77 acres of land within reach from two major highways, namely LDP and ELITE. Why you should visit this place?
One City Mall has 12,000 car parking bays available equipped with electronic indicators
It is the new urban oasis in the middle of the valley with green landscape to ease your eyes after a long day at work
After sundown, you can revel in the beauty of their state-of-the-art LED showcase on the mirrored façade of Sky Park.
Tell me you’re not impressed! Coz I definitely was! (Source: Internet)
Anyway, Mel and I lepak-ed at the Tappers restaurant for lunch while waiting for the event to start. We even caught a glimpse of Mia Sara, the much-loved Malaysian child star while rehearsing with fellow host, some guy whom, ahem, excuse me, I really didn’t recognize. An hour of chatting and shopping (I bought two lovely tops, yippie!), we went to the Media Registration counter and signed up for what we thought was fun, the Kids Gallery Hunt. Haha! Mel and I just thought, “Oh, why not?”. Bumped into a couple of blogger acquaintances too. While waiting, I went inside the Kids Gallery to take photos.
A new shopping place for Mummy (or Daddy) and you!
Aaaah, that’s the call for the Mini Shopaholics nationwide!
Oh, yes! Kids Gallery is definitely a nice place to bring your little ones for shopping. It was colourful and very, very children-friendly. I mean, if I had a baby in a stroller, navigating through the shop would be a breeze with enough space around each brand section.
Told you it’s spacious!
You can even push your stroller between the racks here, see?
Not only there were clothes and accessories, there was also a section for books! Yes, I’d rather have the little ones start reading books instead of stuffing themselves with Ipad or Tablets, like the one I had at home. Please blame my Mum, she relents every time the Little Diva says ‘Hi’ which is her code for Upin and Ipin.
Find a good read for the little one
And when you want your kids to try out their new clothes, you can sit at the mini table and chairs right outside the changing rooms. Did I mention that the changing rooms are awesome? The doors are labelled with ‘Welcome Prince’ for the boys and ‘Welcome Princess’ for the girls, aaaahhhh…
For the Prince and Princess of our hearts
With more than 30 popular kiddie brands, you’ll be spoiled for choice. Excuse me, let me rephrase that again, your kids will be spoiled for choice. So, Mummy and Daddy, please be prepared to spend a little. Besides, take it as an investment. You don’t want to buy some pasar malam brand which will end up faded or torn after a month. If you’re worried about the prices, don’t be. Shopping at Kids Gallery is similar like shopping for your kids at any other store. Just take some time to compare the prices like any smart shopper would and then decide.
Even at this age, I still use baby products
And just for fun, why don’t you allow your kids to pay for their purchases? Yes, with your money, of course, silly! The cashier counter is also equipped with the mini cashier counter for your kids to bring their shopping items over, designed lower for them to reach out for themselves. Aaaah, my Mini Shopaholic is all grown up!
Let your kids enjoy the pleasure of shopping here
Overall, not a bad place. And I swear, I couldn’t stop swooning at the sight of newborn outfits! Those tiny little things do have an effect on me, sob sob. Could that be a sign?
Holding one of these always brings tears to my eyes
An excellent place for first time parents, EVERYTHING is here!
This was the moment I almost passed out in joy, the colourful mini leggings for my Little Diva
So, see you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris
Sherry Argov has enlightened many women out there with her writing (Source: Internet)
Sherry Argov, the author of the Bitches series defined a bitch as a woman who won’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else’s opinion be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it’s just one person’s opinion; therefore, it’s of no real importance. She doesn’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards – only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently. (Source: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in A Relationship) So, who’s your ideal Queen Bitch?
I have here my favourite Bitches on both TV and the silver screen. Pardon me, I rank these bitches purely based on my personal liking. I just love seeing them acting. Shall we? 1. Edie Britt in Desperate Housewives
Edie, you were my favourite housewife! (Source: Internet)
I know you each have your own favourite housewife, but I am honest-to-God crazy about Edie Britt‘s character. She has that poisonous glare, the sexy demeanour and such a seductive voice when she speaks. Although she has had her fair share of evil deeds such as having an affair with Karl Mayer when he was still married to Susan Mayer and stealing Mike Delfino from Susan and just to name a few. Who Is This Bitch? Nicollette Sheridan is an English actress who was formerly married to actor Harry Hamlin (of the original Clash of the Titans) and at one point engaged to singer Michael Bolton. Why Do You Hate Her? There! She gets involved with Karl, later tries to steal Mike, bla bla bla Why You Must Love Her? I don’t know what it’s been said, but British actors have this magnetic pull that you just can’t resist. Besides, Edie’s presence although most of the time unwanted by the main housewives, but she does bring them closer as friends. 2. C.C. Babcock in The Nanny
I love her facial expressions every time Niles scores a point in humiliating her (Source: Internet)
Haha, did I bring you back to the good old 90s? Never mind the nasal Jewish nanny, look at the blonde who has been trying to win her business partner’s affection for many years. Her upper class dressing and talking may make you nauseous, but you have to admit, she is quite a funny gal. I just love the way she and Niles the Butler bicker all the time, with Niles constantly confusing her with the children’s names. Once he makes C.C. believe that there was a fourth child and on a separate occasion, he calls her ‘brunnette’. Haha! Who Is This Bitch? Don’t be surprised, Lauren Lane is currently more active as a professor at Texas State University, heading the Department of Theatre and Dance. Why Do You Hate Her? As a child watching The Nanny, yes, you’ll hate her for her countless efforts to steal Maxwell Sheffield away from Fran Fine. Besides, she often makes snide remarks at Nanny Fine. Why You Must Love Her? Remember in one episode when Niles admits that all the while, the bickering is actually an act of flirting? Haha! So, without CC, Niles will not be inspired to crack such funny jokes and punchlines. 3. Jadis the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia
Don’t sell your siblings for Turkish delights! At least a bungalow with gym and swimming pool! (Source: Internet)
Surely you agree with this one. Remember how she lures Edmund Pevensie into her arms with just Turkish delights? Talk about a bad bargain rate for your soul! Learn from Malaysians, yo Edmund! We bargain like it’s the apocalypse tomorrow! Anyway, Jadis is also known to be so cruel that she brings icy winter for more than a thousand years across Narnia. Who Is This Bitch? Tilda Swinton needs no introduction. She has played so many characters that will leave a mark in your heart. She is famous for her sharp facial features and her voice, I just can’t describe it, but it is so unique. You heard the same voice but with different faces in all he movies. Why Do You Hate Her? Remember when she kills Aslan? And when she enchants Peter into giving her a drop of blood to escape her icy prison? Enough said! Why You Must Love Her? Can’t you see the costume? Gorgeous for a psychopath-evil-queen! And not only that, when she kills Aslan, she breaks her promise not to kill an innocent life. So she actually brings him back to Narnia in the end. 4. Regina George in Mean Girls
So, you think you’re really pretty? Say, NO! (Source: Internet)
Now this is one bitch you don’t want to mess with, the Queen Bee of the Plastics! She breaks up with Aaron and doesn’t allow Cady to date him. And she has ‘an army of skanks’ following her wherever she goes. She doesn’t allow Gretchen to invent the new catchphrase ‘fetch’. Oh, wait! Shouldn’t this be in another section? Who Is This Bitch? Rachel McAdams is one of the most versatile actresses around! Although the movie Mean Girls was supposed to boost Lindsay Lohan‘s career (who told you to go crazy at such a young age, you tramp?), I believe, many would agree, it catapulted Rachel McAdams into stardom. In fact her movies make better box-office compared to LiLo, sorry, former Disney brat! Why Do You Hate Her? The list is endless! She cheats on her boyfriend at the projector room with Shane Oman. She addresses her mother as ‘f-ing’ mum. She constantly bullies people. Remember the Burn Book? Aaaah! She causes the whole school to go against one another. Why You Must Love Her? She is absolutely a loveable villain! She’s cute, she’s mean, she’s the girl every girl wants to be. Remember the holed out shirt? Yes, that’s another reason to love her! 5. Betty Rizzo in Grease
Stockard Channing was 33 when she played high school senior, Betty Rizzo (Source: Internet)
Your life is not complete until you’ve watched this musical. The leader of the Pink Ladies, Rizzo is known as a highly sexual person who sets her eyes on Danny Zuko but dates Kenicki instead. Like Regina there, she is also accompanied by ‘an army of skanks’ only the 1958’s version with curly short hairdo and chic pedal pushers! Who Is This Bitch? Stockard Channing was actually born Susan Antonia Williams Stockard. She actually first made a debut in Sesame Street, how’s that for a musical bitch? Why Do You Hate Her? Yes, people will mostly be on Sandy’s side and hate Rizzo for trying to corrupt the lovely Australian girl. Not only that, it seems that Rizzo has an episode when she thinks she is pregnant. Back in the 50s, it was quite a scandal. Now? Well, thanks to the younger sisters of Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian, it seems like teenage pregnancy is a cool thing in America! Wadda-eff? Why You Must Love Her? You can’t deny her ‘Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee‘ performance was awesome. And she has a great sense of fashion too. Something that I don’t mind wearing some time soon! 6. Callisto in Xena Warrior Princess
Once mortal, then she becomes a god by eating Ambrosia (Source: Internet)
What? You don’t remember her? Then, I must be so old! Callisto is a recurring character in Xena Warrior Princess whose family died in the hands of Xena’s army. She seeks revenge and receives assistance from Hera, Zeus’s bitter wife. Callisto has also learned all of Xena’s tricks so that she can raid other villages and frame Xena for it. Who Is This Bitch? Hudson Leick’s first name is actually Heide, how sweet is that? She’s an actress, model, yoga instructor and intuitive counsellor. Pretty impressive, huh? Why Do You Hate Her? Understandable, when there’s Xena, you’ll automatically hate everyone else, including Gabrielle. Oops! Why You Must Love Her? Once Xena and Callisto switched bodies and so, I had no choice but to love Callisto. 7. Samantha Jones in Sex in The City
Samantha Jones, you are my idol! (Source: Internet)
This iconic character is the only reason to watch SATC. You’ll be drawn to know what’s up her sleeves next. All those guys she dates, all those funny incidents she faces and so many more. On a plus side, she has the best outfits and styles! Yes, Bradshaw has much nicer clothes and shoes, but nobody flaunts it like Samantha Jones. Who Is This Bitch? Kim Cattrall is a British-Canadian actress who is pushing 60 and still looks like she’s in her early 40s. Yes, Samantha relies on Botox, I have no idea if Kim does too. Why Do You Hate Her? Perhaps because she sleeps with different men every night until she starts dating Smith Jerrod. Oh, come on, you’re just jealous because she is so fabulous! Why You Must Love Her? Despite all her flaws (according to some), she is a loyal friend.
8. Blair Waldorf in The Gossip Girl
Don’t be fooled by that school uniform, gentlemen. (Source: Internet)
Wow, are bitches born at such a young age? Tskkk… tskkk.. Perhaps, but at least Blair Waldorf does it with style, besides, I personally think she is the fairer one between the two (Serena). And honestly, I just love her and Chuck Bass being together. So, so, so perfect for each other. Who Is This Bitch? Leighton Meester is a baby-faced brunnette (she’s a natural blonde, by the way) with the prettiest smile. I just can’t believe she married Adam Brody, sob sob. What’s wrong with Ed Westwick??? Why Do You Hate Her? At such a young age, she can be quite a conniving bitch who plots against people who stand in her way. At such a young age? Why You Must Love Her? Easy, she’s the one who breaks Chuck’s fortress of egoism. And there’s her dress… there’s her pair of shoes… there’s her head band… oooh, too many things to love her for! 9. Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada
Please bore someone else with your questions (Source: Internet)
This list will be incomplete without Miranda Priestly, the Editor-In-Chief of Runway magazine. She is feared by many, her subordinates, designers, business partners, etc. Her character was inspired by Anna Wintour of Vogue magazine. Who Is This Bitch? Meryl Streep is a multiple award-winning actress with a career spanning over four decades. Give her any role and she will bring justice to that character. Why Do You Hate Her? She calls Andy ‘fat’. Wow, if Andy, a size 6 is fat, then I must be morbidly obese! She makes the most impossible demands, including the manuscript of the new Harry Potter book. From the beginning of the movie, till the end, well, you get what I mean. Why You Must Love Her? I think she secretly adores Andy for her perseverance during the latter’s attachment to Runway. She gives quite an impactful recommendations too for Andy’s job interview. 10. Amy Dunne in Gone Girl
Could you say no to that face? (Source: Internet)
Welcome, new comer, to the Bitch-Eat-Bitch World! Now this woman is psychotic just as she is gorgeous. She plans her own murder to get back at her husband, causing a nationwide panic. Her methods are almost flawless, she only relents when she sees her husband begs for forgiveness from the public. Who Is This Bitch? Rosamund Pike is among those lucky beautiful girls who get to be Bond Girl. On top of that, she also has her fair share in some of my favourite movies including Surrogates and Wrath of the Titans. Why Do You Hate Her? Probably the fact that she is so shameless to fake her own murder with meticulously planned actions to hurt her husband. She kills her ex-boyfriend who helps her when she gets mugged by her neighbours. Why You Must Love Her? Well, she did teach her philandering husband a very good lesson, perhaps to all other philandering husbands out there too. Remember, hell hath no fury than a woman scorned! And the Winner is….GLENN CLOSE for her portrayal of Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction, Marquis Isabelle de Merteuille in Dangerous Liaisons, Queen Gertrude in Hamlet and Cruella De Vil in 101/102 Dalmations. All these characters are firmly embedded in our minds and hearts as among the Ultimate Bitches, proving Glenn Close’s remarkable acting. Alex Forest in Fatal Attraction is such an iconic character among the psychopaths/stalkers out there. When a weekend fling becomes murderous, she makes sure that nothing stands between her and Dan, not even Dan’s wife and daughter.
Among Glenn Close’s most famous role, it earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress (Source: Internet)
Marquis Isabelle de Merteuille in Dangerous Liaisons is another of her well-known portrayals. Who could be any crazier than the Marquis? First she offers herself to Valmont if Valmont seduces Cecile. Then, she finds out that Danceny and Cecile are in love and encourage them further. At the same time, she seduces Danceny. What? When will this twisted web of deceit and betrayal end?
She ain’t a dumb blonde, I tell you… (Source: Internet)
Queen Gertrude in Hamlet is not an actual villain. But I still put her on the bitch list because first she marries Hamlet’s father, then later his uncle when her husband mysteriously died. There were also hints of incest between Hamlet and his mother. Eeeekkk! Bitch! That’s your own flesh and blood!
Queen Gertrude, the Danish royalty in Shakespeare (Source: Internet)
And of course, finally, the greedy and murderous Cruella De Vil from the 101/102 Dalmations movies. Originally working on stripes for her fashion house, she suddenly decides spots are more favourable after she sees Anita’s photo of Perdy. When buying does not succeed, she settles for kidnapping. In the sequel, Cruella becomes Ella as she is healed through therapy but only for a while. This time, she wants a hood to go with her Dalmation jacket.
You can hate her, but you have to admit, her costumes are simply gorgeous (Source: Internet)
Here are my favourite movie/TV bitches! Who’s your ideal Queen Bitch? Feel free to share your thoughts and perhaps, I’ll write about her too.
Look who wears a tiara now? (Source: Internet)
See you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris
Warning! This confession may not be suitable to younger audience. I believe, I made quite a ruckus with recent confession about Dr. Annie Kaszina‘s idea about using the same technique in choosing a pet dog to find a husband. Well, as much as I understand issues related to dogs are considered highly sensitive, why can’t we ease the tension with something funny? Like it or not, Malaysia is a multi-ethnic country and each of us has our own likes and dislikes. So, the Muslims are prohibited from touching or keeping dogs as pet, but that doesn’t mean, Islam prohibits us from being the good, understanding neighbours.
I love Dr. Kaszini’s ideas actually (Source: www.dailymail.co.uk)
So again, I feel tempted to share this confession, “Introducing the Mad Bitch from Hell”. The first time I came across the term ‘Mad Bitch from Hell‘, I was reading Jane Green’s novel, ‘Babyville’ which focussed on a TV producer by the name Maeve Robertson. Maeve was described as a tall, redhead (ahem, not her natural colour though) who was smart and career-driven. She took no nonsense and she was not afraid to strut her stuff. She opted to dress more like ‘Pamela Anderson‘ for a job interview instead of ‘Cindy Crawford‘. In fact, she slept with one of her bosses at one point.
My first love with Jane Green (Source: Internet)
In short, she was my idol, except the sleeping with the boss part, I don’t do that. Trust me, honey, no boss is worth sleeping with if you’re talking about getting a promotion or any other reason. Then, after an unplanned one night stand, Maeve fell pregnant and had to keep it a secret at first to maintain her Sex Kitten image. Unfortunately, her hormones got the best of her at times, and she started having episodes of tears and tantrums at work. Until she shouted at one of her colleagues which earned her the nickname of ‘Mad Bitch from Hell‘.
Rachel Nichols looks like my kind of Maeve Robertson (Source: Internet)
Now, before anyone starts panicking at the word ‘bitch‘, thinking that it is inappropriate, well, yes, 10 years ago, that word is widely frowned upon. Of course, what do you expect when the general meaning of ‘bitch‘ is a female dog (also wolf, fox or otter) and the other one is ‘to express displeasure or grumble or complain’. And let’s not forget at one point in time, the word ‘bitch‘ is used to describe indecent women or prostitutes. (Source: Google) However, of late, the word ‘bitch‘ is fast becoming the Hollywood version of ‘feminism‘. When ‘feminism‘ is the advocacy or ideology of women’s rights on the grounds of defining, establishing and defending political, social, cultural and economic equality to men (Source: Google & Wikipedia), the noun ‘feminist‘ may somewhat remind you of the 50s women marching around town with posters on gender equality. Well, that doesn’t give it a sexy ring now, does it?
Why men love bitches? Why indeed (Source: Internet)
And thanks to Sherry Argov’s The Bitches series, the word ‘bitch‘ now offers better definitions, which is less derogative than the original meanings. In fact, I personally find them inspiring for a career woman such as myself. Bitch (noun): A woman who won’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else’s opinion be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it’s just one person’s opinion; therefore, it’s of no real importance. She doesn’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards – only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently (Source: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov)
Turn love into marriage, ladies… (Source: Internet)
So, you see, there’s nothing wrong with being a bitch. In fact, most of my friends know that I am the Ultimate Mad Bitch from Hell when I need to be. There will be times when I will be quite firm on things, and there will be times when I try to make my projects work no matter what. And people who are close to me know some of the things that I’d do to get something done, nothing dirty just a little smarter, pulling all the strings I can find. Of course, I wasn’t always like this. Nobody was born a bitch. In fact, in my earlier years, I was somewhat a spineless girl who was constantly bullied at school. Some of my friends often looked down on me because I was not as pretty as other schoolmates. Since there were two Ashikins at that time in my class, I was nicknamed ‘Shikin Hitam’ (Black Shikin) for my dark skin, while the other one was nicknamed ‘Shikin Putih’ (White Shikin).
Each of us is born beautiful, one way or another (Source: Internet)
And then, despite being considered rather tall for a Malay girl, I was often compared to the other tall girl who was stick-thin. She was one of those who kept telling me to lose weight and all. I was only 13! So, can you imagine what hardship it was growing up being me? High school was no different than a Jumanji jungle to me. So, when I had the opportunity to go for an exchange programme after SPM, I decided to go. I worked hard to ace the interview and I was in. It was quite a turning point to me when I learned that I was the first student from my school who was actually accepted to go for an exchange programme. Of course, my other friends went to attend matriculation or A-Level and most of them now are professionals. Bla bla bla, yes, yes, they are successful now.
But I am not doing too bad either for someone who doesn’t have a degree (yes, still finding the strength to go back to school for that scroll everyone is ever-so-proud of!), I had some great experiences and skills that most people my age don’t have, and yes, I am proud with the support system I’ve had from people around me. I usually meet people who’d either end up my friends or enemies, but everybody has left something in my life. With these encounters, come experience and wisdom. One thing that I learned, being a bitch means that I am strong and nothing can break me. Yes, I’ve had my ups and downs, but nothing breaks me. Some people have tried, oh, trust me, by Allah, they tried, and I might’ve faltered a little along the way, but hey, nothing can break this Mad Bitch from Hell. I plan to stay strong, hold my head up high and walk proudly.
Every woman is a diamond (Source: Internet)
I continuously work hard to be where I am right now. Even at university, I’ve had some friends who were nice, some who weren’t so nice, but I learned to do my own stuff. You’d be surprised how college years could be just as brutal, like something out of ‘Gossip Girl’ TV Series, there was always a villain everywhere you go. So, you can say, I was never the Queen Bee, but always the Social Outcast. Yes, yes, I was more of Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen) and Vanessa Abrams (Jessica Szohr) than Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) and Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester). Yet, I learned something valuable. You don’t need to be the hot, rich girl like Serena and Blair to be somebody in the society. You can choose to be a bitch and still make it big out there. Haha!
Be strong, we are here for you (Source: Internet)
Of course, in Malaysia, being a bitch means, you are despised by others; particularly those who don’t understand the nature of your bitchiness. To them, being a bitch means that you’re sleeping around, you have a mean-streak, you always defy authorities and so on. In short, you’re a bitch. But, let me share something I’ve learned in my years working with people of various personalities and backgrounds; people fear what they don’t understand. And when they fear something, they try to get rid of it. I don’t think, you’d be surprised to see women not getting along well on different levels; at home, at work and even among strangers. Funny isn’t it? What happens to self-esteem and poise as a woman? We were all born beautiful, ladies!
Choose to be someone, than be boring (Source: Internet)
“Anytime a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself” (Source: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov)
So, what happens to the dog-eat-dog world that we feared so much? Well, I personally think, it has evolved into a Bitch-eat-Bitch world! Why I say this? Easy, how many women out there, even young women (even my baby girl, Amelyn) constantly complain about individuals of the same gender; mostly driven by envy? Don’t tell me your answer, just keep it to yourself because you know it’s true.
So, walk proudly, bitch or not (Source: Internet)
From the biggest things, like that lady married a rich guy or she just bought a new sports car; to the tiniest, petty little things like, who wears red better or to whom did that cute stranger wink at a club. Most women I know, most women YOU know, tend to have something to fuss about. Reason being, it’s a girl thing. Cat-fights not only exist in movies, how many videos have gone viral lately with women bashing/abusing/humiliating other women in public over jealousy? Some went as far as stripping and beating another women without mercy. Again, keep the answer to yourself.
It’s Miss Bitch to you, missy! (Source: Internet)
As for me, whatever accusation or gossip thrown at me, I’ll take it with open arms and heart, top it up with a smile. So, let them talk about my cleavage all day long, or how fat my ass would look in short skirts, perhaps spreading rumours about my love life. And they can call me a bitch for all that I care, and I’ll tell them, “Yes, I’m a Mad Bitch from Hell, but I’m first class!” And introducing, the Mad Bitch from Hell!
So, bitches beware! (Source: Internet)
See you in the next confession! All my love, XOXO, Miss Paris